You Put Your Tongue Down My Throat At Your Own Risk

I do not like New Years. I really don't like to be reminded that another year has passed. I can sit here and take stock in the previous year and see that I went nowhere. This is magnified by my stupid birthday which is right around the corner. Not only has a year gone by but soon I'll be a year older. But I'm going to be fair and tick off some of the major events from this year. Some negative some positive, should be fun.

- I ring in the New Year by puking on a girl. Listen, so not my fault, you put your tongue down my throat at your own risk.

- "Broke" my wrist. In the process 5 cops cars are called to the intersection where the accident takes place due to my raving lunacy.

- Using my "broken" wrist I re-establish contact with a certain nutty girl. She sticks around for almost a whole month and then once again disappears. She then appears to have some crazy telepathic power that results in her sending me a text or e-mail literally within 24 hours of a date with any other girl. How she does this I do not know, but it frankly scares me a little.

- Finally pay off my remaining credit card debt from when I lived with Craig. Consume about a metric ton of sugar in celebration.

- Ash, the best roommate I'll probably ever have, moves out. I mourn his lose greatly. Speaking of moving I help a record six people (Justin, Ash, Katt, Tim, Greg/Jude/Jo/Sandy Tammy/Jason) move this year If and when I ever move again I'm not lifting a box, I'm calling in some favors.

- I discovered metalreviews.com. Think this doesn't need mentioning? I love metal. This site is like a little drop of awesomeness, and led me towards the likes of, Axxis, Corpsing, Grave Digger, Running Wild, Machine Head, Immolation, Maudlin of the Well, Primordial, and a literal fuck ton of others. It was a like whole other world opened up to me.

- I ride from Eugene to Outer or Deep Beaverton. The 120ish mile ride is by far the highlight of my riding summer. It is also probably my favorite ride ever.

- Days after signing up for Seattle to Portland I ride to work and notice my rear wheel is the opposite of true. When I get to work to investigate I find that my frame is cracked and beyond repair. Devastated I go about finding a replacement bike. I manage to find a frame at a good price and take it to a bike shop to switch over my components to the new frame. I'm told it will be done in time for STP. It is not. I hate life for the two weeks it takes to get my bike back.

- With no riding the previous two weeks due to the above bullet I complete the Summit to Surf Fire and Century while earning raising $450 dollars for the American Diabetes Association. It is one of the most miserable rides I've ever done. I despise Hood River and its wind. The highlight was my ascent up to Timberline which was nearly vomit inducing, but it was worth it to beat a fellow cyclist in all Duck gear after he sucked my tire for most of the way up. Little asshole.

- Destroyed Ash's engine. I know what an oil light is and what it means, but in the Audi it's a cute little graphical image that then goes away, when really it shouldn't. Hey car, if you need oil real bad don't let your oil light go out. Anyway, turns out when an engine has no oil it seizes and then doesn't work anymore. This turned out to be a $3,600 lesson to be paid in monthly installments of $100.

- Took the plunge and became a Blazers season ticket holder. Um, yes it is as awesome as it sounds.

- In an effort to do more in my life I volunteer at Oregon Food Bank. I instantly love the warehousing aspects of the place and begin to go weekly. I wish I could tell you I go because I like feeling like I'm helping, but in reality I just really like moving pallets and boxes.

- I go to my very first live WWE event. How I got to this point I'm not totally sure. I do love the WWE though.

- Take in two Metallica shows, one in Portland the other in Seattle. The Portland show is notable because dear old, emphasis on old, dad comes along. Also, Portland's opener was Down. Phil Anselmo is still a god and no one should ever forget this. Seattle's trip was already blogged about extensively. Hooray for Metallica!

- In what was nothing short of a miracle received a total of $1,900 of the $3,000 that Craig owes me. $1,400 of which went into buying a super sweet 52" HD television. Yes, I'm well aware that a debt transfer with Craig paying that sum to Ash makes a lot more sense, but let me ask you this, does a debt transfer get you sports and movies in crystal clear definition that's so good I'll watch just about anything? No, no it does not. Wizards/Bobcats in HD, you bet!

- Somewhere in the year I dropped 15 pounds.

That, in sum, was my year. I think in general it was a positive one, and one that I can't really complain much about.


Now let's look at the best media of the year in this man's ever humble opinion.

Best Album Of 2008:
Metallica – Death Magnetic
Come on, like it was ever going to go to any other band or album? The whole thing is great though a little uneven. The production is absolute shit, but any album with All Nightmare Long on it is a winner.


Other Notable Albums That Came Out In 2008:
Unearth – The March
Genghis Tron – Board Up The House
Origin – Antithesis
Enslaved – Vertabrae
Motorhead – Motorizer
Equilibrium – Sagas
Baroness – Red Album
Avantasia – The Scarecrow


Albums That Didn't Come Out This Year But Were New To Me And Were Totally Awesome:

Machine Head – The Blackening
Hands down the best album I heard all year. This may be the best album released this decade. Top to bottom it is perfect.

Running Wild – Black Hand Inn
Corpsing – The Stench of Humanity
Arsis – We Are the Nightmare
Avantasia – The Metal Opera Part I and II
Maudlin Of The Well – Leaving Your Body Map
Paramore – Riot!
Primordial – To The Nameless Dead
Sodom – Agent Orange
The Sword – Age Of Winters
Verdunkeln – Einblick In Den Qualenfall
Witchfinder General – Death Penality.

I probably missed a bunch of albums in both categories but I spent a lot of time listening to the above.

Movie of the Year:
Wall-E: No contest on this one. While Dark Knight is excellent Wall-E does everything perfect. I've watched it about 10 times now and enjoy it every single time.

Game of the Year:
Fallout 3: I played it for 70+ hours.

Notables:
Valkyria Chronicles
Rock Band 2
Dead Space
Grand Theft Auto IV
Final Fantasy Tactics A2.

Truthfully, in an effort to curb spending I bought fewer games this year. Also, due to roommates that also want to use the TV I find my time to play game has contracted. Thanks a lot roommates.

Fueled by a new boss I manage to read a fair amount of books this year. A few I would rank up there with the best I've ever read. They were, though I'm sure I'll miss a few.

Infinite Jest – David Foster Wallace (RIP)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows – J.K. Rowling
Underworld – Don Dellilo
The Yiddish Policeman's Union – Michael Chabon
Stone Junction – Jim Dodge
Gravity's Rainbow – Thomas Pynchon
The Road – Cormic McCarthy
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicles – Haruki Murakami
Sometimes a Great Notion – Ken Kesey
American Pyscho – Bret Easton Ellis

This comes to a total of 6,320 pages. I think I'll kill that this year. The best book I read was Infinite Jest of course, but to be fair, the best book I read that wasn't Infinite Jest was easily Kesey's Sometimes a Great Notion. If you're from Oregon you owe it to yourself to read this. In fact, the person that recommended it to me boldly stated you can't consider yourself an Oregonian if haven't read this book. I happen to agree with that statement. The book is outright genius and something I'll probably reread for the rest of my life.

OK this is getting a little long so onwards to the resolutions.

I will keep working on my various missions, duh.

I will read The Brothers Karamazov. For those that read these year end blogs year in and year out this has been on the last three resolution lists.

Most importantly I will do two things. I will do a better of job of not focusing on the disconnect between where I want to be in life and where I am. This causes me to be annoyed or upset with myself far too often. If anyone has seen me "almost" cry after a soccer game when we tie or lose because I've missed hitting the open net again, or otherwise feel like I've cost us a recreational (as is in purely for fun) game knows I'm a little too hard on myself. Ideally I'll focus on what I do right and not what I do wrong. I will focus on what I have and not what I don't have. Part two will involve me identifying what I want and getting it.

That's it, that's the past year. See you later 2008, hello 2009. I will say as someone that dislikes odd numbers I'm not a fan of this year already or the fact that I'm soon to be an odd number age, 27, here in 12 days. Lousy odd numbers, ruining a whole year for me.



I didn't puke on a girl last night, already off to a bad start to 2009